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Preaching the Randian Gospel

January 25, 2011

We are all in for a treat this evening.  Our grand leaders are gathering to address this mighty nation in a superb pageant of political posturing known as the State of the Union Address.  Apparently someone called “The President” will give a short introduction, which I understand will be  for entertainment purposes only, interspersed with boos, hisses, and the throwing of rotten fruit.  Then the real business will begin.

And verily I say unto you, government is thine enemy...

Our glorious Highpriest of Galt will be giving a powerful sermon on the tenants of the Randian Gospel, and laying forth his Great Plan to end our jobless suffering with the miracle of Tax Cuts and Deregulation.  All he will ask in return is the blood sacrifice of Social Security and Medicare, as they are an affront to the Randian Gods.

Praise be to Galt.

Let us not be tempted by the heretics who wish to sway the righteous with their dark powers of “numbers” and “math”.  Who strive only to discredit and smear the Great Plan as a ridiculous hoax designed to rob the masses and feed the rich.  Do not question the voice of Rand.

Praise be to Galt.

Come into the light of faith and rejoice, for we are all to be saved through the love and graciousness of Rand and her almighty Invisible Hand of the Market.  Heed the words of her prophet Paul Ryan and hold to the Great Plan.

Praise be to Galt.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. January 25, 2011 9:41 pm

    The REAL highlight will be Bachmann’s Tea Party Extravaganza sense-free rebuttal. Set your speech decoders to “bark”, and expect lots of head-spinning and green vomit. Good times.

    • January 26, 2011 9:58 am

      It was quite the spectacle. She’s actually hard to satirize because she’s such a walking parody already. I don’t think I could have come up with anything more bizarre and ridiculous than her actual address turned out to be.

      Ryan didn’t disappoint either. The problem with dogmatic sermons is they tend to be REALLY BOOOOORING. I was a bit let down that he didn’t elude to his bullshit Road Map more, but I’m sure his handlers put the kibosh on that. They don’t want the public at large to know what they’re truly after. Sacrificing the poor and middle class to the rich isn’t exactly a winning proposition, so they have to conceal it behind deficit scare-mongering and lying about Europe’s imminent collapse. As with every other “faith-based” belief, you just have to take their word for it.

  2. johnsmith1882 permalink
    January 26, 2011 9:51 am

    That’s the funny thing. Today, I haven’t seen anyone else besides aramis even mention Paul’s “official” rebuttal speech. Only discussions about the miscarriage that was BTO’s. I, of course, watched neither, but the two rebuttal speeches were delivered by a far-right Ayn Rand fanboy, and a further-right Christian nutter? Yikes.

    • January 26, 2011 1:04 pm

      There’s an interesting assessment here;

      which points out that the two messages were virtually identical although, admittedly, the tone was different. But Bachmann was the big draw – as I predicted, but that was a little like predicting it will start to get dark around 5:00 PM in January in the Northern Hemisphere – and she seems to have totally sold her soul to the Teabaggers. A classic display of pledging to the demonstrably crazy group that tells her everything she says is right. What a dilemma: they’re all nuts, but they’d stand up and cheer if I read the phone book aloud – they LOVE me!!!

      As aramis alluded, Ryan did not discuss his “roadmap”. That might have made his speech fall a little flat, because defenders were probably digging their fingernails into their palms in their living rooms and spitting, “Give ’em the ROADMAP, Paul, give ’em the FUCKING ROADMAP!!!” But a related article in the same reference (The Washington Monthly) speculated, “…the Ryan roadmap, encapsulating the Republican vision on the budget, is a radical mess. If Americans fully appreciated its contents, the electoral backlash would be severe.”

      I’m not sure about that, since the electorate has crossed just about every stupidity line-in-the-sand I could imagine at one time or another in the last 10 years, but Ryan seemed to have settled on prudent risk management. The result, considering the red-meat crowd wanted…well, red meat, is that his contribution was assessed as underwhelming.

      • johnsmith1882 permalink
        January 27, 2011 11:31 am

        Heh. All this makes me think back on the b.s. that Republicans used to sling in the 90’s in a kind of fond, sepia-toned manner. Remember when Bob Dole used phony push polls to smear his opponents? Ahh, those were the days. Now, Dole would be painted as a RINO or probably as a secret communist/socialist in bed with Acorn. For me, what seemed like the ultimate line in the sand crossed by the American electorate was re-electing W Bush in ’04. “Yeah, he’s fucked up everything he’s touched, everything out of his mouth has turned out to be untrue…but, but, gay marriage.” And that line is now off in the distance, fading from memory, because recorded time began on Jan. 20, 2009.

        I told anyone that would listen in the lead-up to the Iraq war that our media was failing us. There were (and are) no longer any reporters, only stenographers, who simply repeat whatever is said at a press conference as “news”. To me, that’s the real failure here, not the stupidity of the American populace, which needs to be viewed as a given, a constant. So, to use BTO’s and Rand’s rebuttals as examples, the problem here isn’t that some idiot in Podunk, Arkansas believes their lies, it’s that no one in the media calls them on them.

        Like you and aramis mention, if Rand actually came out and gave ’em the roadmap, he would clearly be exposed as a fraud. But he didn’t, so he gets to keep his “Republican Economic genius,, no..wizard, no..god!” chryon whenever he appears on t.v.

  3. January 31, 2011 12:17 pm

    So say we, so say we all.

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