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The Mad Genius of Glenn

February 4, 2010

Glenn Beck is a genius.  An ignorant, loud-mouthed, fear-mongering, cowardly, sociopathic genius.  He is truly king of the Carnival Barkers.  This guy has turned crazed rhetoric and conspiracy theories into gold.  Literally.  He hypes up fear of Armageddon and then pitches buying gold as a bulwark against the coming darkness.  Boy does he know his audience.

The pant wetting crowd on the far right in this country are so easy to manipulate by fear and prejudice that he doesn’t even have to break a sweat.  He could convince these fools that another biblical flood is coming because of the evil “socialist-fascist-nazi-commies”, and then sell them shamwows by the truck-full to hold back the water.  Dumb fucking rubes.

I guess what really garners the minuscule amount of respect I have for Beck, is his sheer audacity.  This clown scrawls out his insanity on a giant chalk board like a mad scientist, and instead of being laughed off the network, he get’s huge rating bumps and new book deals.  God bless America, where even strung-out former shock jocks can find Jesus and peddle rambling  misinformation and madness to the masses, making millions of dollars for themselves and their corporate masters!

The mad genius that is Glenn Beck can only truly be appreciated when you look at  what he’s accomplished in his relatively short public life.  This man has almost single-handedly plunged the Republican party into the arms of the Teabaggers, rendering them helpless against the rabid insistence on purity from the right.  The Republicans are quickly being rendered down to their most basic elements of hate, fear, and ignorance.  This purging of moderation from the party is suppose to somehow exorcise the George Bush demons of borrow-and-spend policies, and usher in a golden age of small government and free market fundamentalism that will take us all to the promised land with Jon Galt leading the way.  Beck’s grand vision probably isn’t quite as grand as the Teabagger’s though, and likely consists of a luxurious retirement to his gated community while the rest of the world burns.

That, I guess, is his true genius.  When the house of cards collapses on itself and nobody’s left to pedle his noncence to, he’ll just quietly slip away to the country club and enjoy his millions while all of the people he conned are left standing outside the gates with their God, Gold, and Guns, but no food or ammo.   I wondering, at that point, if a synthetic stock tastes better than a wooden one, or if Goldline will trade back some of their worthless coins for a box of mac and cheese?

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